186. We Didn't Plan For This: First Father's Day Without Him

It’s Father’s Day weekend. It’s also the weekend Campbell moved to Birmingham to begin her next chapter. For Adrienne, these two milestones collide in a way she never expected.

In this personal episode of We Didn’t Plan for This, Adrienne reflects on the first Father’s Day without Brian, the reality of sending a daughter off to college without her dad, and the unexpected emotions that come with watching life continue after loss.

She shares what she’s missing, what she’s learning, and the comfort she finds in seeing Brian’s legacy living on through their children. From Nick opening his home to Campbell’s next adventure, to the realization that every future milestone will look different than planned, this is a conversation about grief, love, family, and the people who carry us forward.

Because sometimes grief isn’t just about what happened.

It’s about all the moments that should have happened too.

If you’re navigating loss, a life transition, or a Father’s Day that feels different than expected, this episode is for you.

For those who have reached out asking how to support Adrienne and her family during this time, click here to donate. There is absolutely no expectation—just sincere gratitude.

We Didn't Plan For This Special Series

This series exists because so many of you reached out and said, “I didn’t plan for this either.”

If you’ve gone through a diagnosis, a loss, a life change, a career shift, a divorce, becoming a caregiver, moving, starting over — we want to hear your story.

EMAIL US: WDPFTPodcast@gmail.com

You don’t have to have it figured out. You just have to be willing to share honestly.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to We Didn't Plan for This, a special series from how yoga changed my life. Normally on the podcast, we talk about practices like movement, breath work, and meditation and how they've changed people's lives. But this series, it's different. It's about the moments that shift everything, the seasons you didn't see coming, and how we keep showing up anyway. And if something here resonates with you, follow our show, share it with someone who might need it, or send us a message. Because the truth is, we didn't plan for this. But we're here. Hi, this is Adrian, and welcome to another episode of We Didn't Plan for This, a special series from how yoga changed my life. When my husband Brian died, I worried about a lot of things. I worried about finances, our house, our future. But the one thing I worried about after Brian died the most was what the future would look like for our kids. It's Father's Day Sunday, and Campbell left home yesterday and moved to Birmingham with Nick. Like so many things this year, it's not happening the way we thought it would. Grief changes shape. Because you're no longer grieving what happened. You're grieving what should have happened. This is our first Father's Day without him. His absence is impossible to ignore on the weekend. Our daughter moved away. He wasn't here to load the boxes into her car. He isn't pretending not to be emotional while secretly being emotional. Instead, we're figuring out how to do this without him and what it means to grow up when someone important isn't here to see it. She's starting a life. She's ready. And he's missing it. Or maybe not entirely. Because the older my kids get, the more I see him everywhere. I feel him in the way Campbell uses humor and her quick wit. I hear him in Nick's cadence, tone, and rhythm of his voice. I feel him and his warm heart radiate through Gabrielle. I hear his determination and love for connecting people in Mallory. He's here in the way we tell stories and in the things that make us laugh. One thing I didn't expect was watching my son step into this moment. Nick opened his home to help Campbell start her new chapter. And I don't even think they realize how much this means to me. Because while nobody can replace her father, there is something comforting about knowing she's going to the person who reminds me most of him. When someone dies, people often ask what you'll miss. The truth is, you don't always know right away. You miss the obvious things at first. Their presence, their voice, their laugh, their side of the bed. Then life keeps moving, and eventually you arrive at moments like this one. The moments they were supposed to be a part of. And as hard as it is, I think Brian would be incredibly proud. Not because she's got it all figured out, but because she's doing exactly what he raised her to do. She's taking the next step. For the rest of my life, every major milestone for our kids will happen without Brian. Graduations, weddings, grandchildren. And this weekend is the first time that reality has hit me. I'm grieving, I'm proud, I'm scared, and I'm excited. Maybe that's what love looks like sometimes. Holding two completely different emotions at the same time. But tonight I just wanted to tell you what this weekend feels like from where I'm standing. I want Campbell to know. I'm so proud of you. You are ready. I know dad is proud. You don't have to have everything figured out. And you can always come home. Before Campbell left, Nora sat down with her to talk about what this move means, what she's excited about, what she's nervous about, and what she remembers most of her dad. The conversation is funny and messy and honest, just like families usually are. Before I go, I want to leave you with a thought. If the person you're missing today is still here, call them, send the text, ask the question, take the picture, have the conversation. Because no one knows how many ordinary Sundays we have left. If you're missing someone this Father's Day, you're not alone. And if you're listening today because you're missing someone you love, I hope you know you're not alone. Grief can feel incredibly isolating, especially on days that seem designed to remind us of who's missing. So if this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might need it today. A friend, a sibling, a widower, a widow, or someone navigating a first Father's Day, a first holiday, or a life they never planned for. And if you like to support the podcast, the best way you can do is follow the show, leave a review, and share an episode with someone who needs to hear it. Thank you for spending part of your day with me. Take care of yourself. And wherever you are, I hope you find a moment of peace. Because we didn't plan for this. But we're here. And for now, that's enough.